On the Lighter Side: Simple Science
Ann Landers recently published student responses to some simple science questions.

Recently, a reader of Ann Landers' column sent to her some student responses to science test questions that he found while surfing the Internet. Apparently, the reader told Ann, these responses were written by fifth- and sixth-graders. We share these here in the spirit of fun in which they were meant. We don't, however, vouch for their validity!

• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down

• You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit.
  If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.

• There are 26 vitamins in all, yet some of the letters are yet to be discovered.

• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around up there these days.

• Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

• The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

• I'm not sure how clouds are formed, but clouds know how to do it, and that's the important thing.

• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.

• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

• It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.

• Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas.

• Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

• A monsoon is a French gentleman.

• To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I have never been able to make out the numbers.

• When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

• In some rocks, you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

• For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

• Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

• A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water and then forcing it through an aviator.

• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on top, and you sit on the bottom.

Article by Gary Hopkins
Education World™ Editor-in-Chief
Copyright © 1997 Education World™

07/11/97