Dear Education Professionals,

Welcome to this back-to-school-already edition of Education World's Education Humor Newsletter. This newsletter is published weekly as a free service by Education World®. You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up to receive our weekly mailing of G-rated jokes and other humor related to the "education world." For June and July, we’ve been re-running some "greatest hits" and playing a few new tunes, too! Many of our yucks come from our friends at www.learninglaffs.com -- Please visit their site, where you can also find cartoons! Now, as many parts of the country (though not all parts) are getting back to school, we’ve got our noses back to the tickle-stone.

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Volume 6, Issue 32
August 12, 2004

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MORE NEW MOVIES ABOUT SCHOOL
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Free Wally
Wally Hasse skillfully achieves true freedom when he discovers that students in his suburban high school are actually dropped from classes for poor attendance.

The English Patience
An over--stressed high school English teacher is constantly tested as she wages pedagogy on a group of recalcitrant ninth--graders.

The Relic
The most senior faculty of a school shares his words of wisdom with new teachers regarding how to thread the movie projector, how to synchronize the tape player and the filmstrip projector, how to use a slide rule, and how to run the manual--crank ditto machine.

George of the Jungle Gym
A disgruntled third--grader decides to drop out of school and make a new life for himself on the playground equipment.

Conspiracy Theorem
Geometry students, convinced that the mathematics textbook publishers are out to get them, endure a semester of high stress and high jinks.

The Lost World
Students and teachers are both fascinated and terrified as district administrators come back to life when budget cuts force them out of their offices and back into classrooms to teach full time.

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HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?
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If you added up all of the time spent on non-teaching activities, and separated the time spent on each into eight-hour days, you would find that over a thirty-year teaching career you would have spent:

-- Five months telling students to get to work

-- Fifty--six days telling students to sit down

-- Eleven days waiting for a student to finish sharpening a pencil

-- Five months taking attendance

-- Almost two years sitting in meetings

-- Eleven days waking sleeping students

-- Twenty--two days rearranging the desks

-- Nine days saying "no"

-- A month passing out papers

-- Three weeks collecting papers

-- Four weeks listening to morning announcements

-- Two weeks reminding students that the period is not over yet

-- Two months redirecting inappropriate student behavior

-- Six months reading memos, completing surveys, and doing other paperwork

-- Twenty days writing hall passes

-- Seven months wondering what happened to the students with the hall passes

~~~~~~~~~~ We hope we gave you a chuckle today! ~~~~~~~~~~

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We have attempted to research all the jokes and other humor that appear in this newsletter to ensure that no copyrights have been violated. We have noted sources where they are available. The humor that appears in this weekly newsletter does not appear on the Education World Web site.

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